Sunday, May 1, 2011

Where has the time gone? Mom of 4 jitters!

I've not been very good at blogging lately. Life just seems to be flying by lately! I'm down to the final stretch of my pregnancy at 32 weeks. 47 days or less and Miss Abbie will be here. Ahhhh!! I'm feeling very overwhelmed and the nesting feelings are creeping in. We have our house for sale right now and with that there is a certain amount of extra stress. Keeping a house "show ready" is a challenge but I'll admit I LOVE my house being so clean! We don't have a nursery set up and that's driving me crazy but that comes with the territory of selling the house. I want to start washing her clothes and washing the cloth diapers. I really want to make her a quilt too.

There are many things that just make my head spin... 2 dentist appts. in the next week that are over an hour long each (I have to get 5 crowns.... ugh) (pregnancy is NOT nice to my teeth thanks to the horrible acid in my salavia and all that heartburn causing acid reflux), midwife appts. every 2 weeks, Dakota is starting t-ball (thankfully David can help with this one), Emma is in the home stretch of ballet with her recital at the end of May, I want to volunteer 1 last time for Dakota's class (his last day is the 27th), the horrible heart burn I feel everyday just stinks, and the dentist appts. are causing me a lot of anxiety (I had a HORRIBLE dentist once and this is a new dentist... I'm worried the cavity fillings and crowns are going to hurt). I have all of the essentials for Abbie but I'm still just overwhelmed that I won't be ready when she is born.

I have all kinds of mixed emotions over being a mother of 4. I've always wanted to have 4 children and now my desire will be true so very soon! I'm excited but nervous too. I havne't had a newborn in 3 1/2 years and going back to newborn mode will be an adjustment. Going back to diapers and breastfeeding. I want it all but I'm anxious over it all too. The kids adjusting to a new little baby. The hormones and the fear of postpartum depression (I suffered severe PPD after Emma was born and I don't want to go back into that dreaded black hole again) linger on my mind too. Of course there is just labor itself. I know I just need to take things 1 day at a time but it's hard to just relax and not let all that I want to get done make my mind go a million miles a second. God gives me peace when I just rely on Him but that is hard for me sometimes. David has been supportive as my emotions have brought on the tears many times. My kids have been wonderful too. Now I just have to relax and know that everything will come together in time. Blogging my fears, worries, and thoughts helps a lot to ease my mind. I know the thoughts are all over the place. A look inside the racing that's going on in my mind right now. LOL

We went for a last minute family vacation to Folly Beach, SC last week. We had a wonderful week!! Here's a family picture of us enjoying the beautiful pier! A very relaxing and fun week! Just what we all needed before Abbie joins our family taking us from a family of 5 to a family of 6! :)